Staying Awake
I remember when my oldest was small, she would fight sleep in so many ways. Obviously tired, rubbing her eyes, I’d ask if she was ready for a nap. “No!” She never wanted to sleep. But she was tired. So tired. So I’d walk her upstairs, go through the pre-nap routine, and start the process. We’d sit in the glider, and I’d rock her. She – tired but resisting. I –steady and relentless. A dark room, a sound machine playing the constant drone of rain, a snuggly blanket and rocking, rocking, rocking. She’d cuddle under my chin at first but then, rocking, rocking, sit up and grab my face. Or say a sleepy, “No!” then reluctantly settle back into the pattern, rocking, rocking. Suddenly, she’d stand on my lap and reach for a toy. I’d bring her back down and rocking, rocking, after exhausting her list of evasive techniques, attempting to fight the monotony, between the drone of the rain, a warm blanket, and the rocking… the repetition (and exhaustion) would win. She would sleep.
Mothers across the world understand the power of routine and repetition. Want to get things done in a timely manner? Routine. Want to get your kids to sleep? Routine, with repetition. Rock them, pat them, bounce them, but keep. it. the. same. Eventually, the repetition lulls them to sleep.
What routines do we develop to succeed? Alarms, schedules, and calendars take us from detailed routines to broader ones. They keep us on track, heading toward a target. Keeping things neat, in order, on time. Mostly on time. Sometimes… on time. OK, we are doing our best! But monotony and routines also have a way of taking weeks and months and turning them stealthily into years, while we, unaware, carry on, honing our routines with blinders on to serve that which we have been told is our biggest ministry – our family.
Daily we prioritize the making of meals, the cleaning of the bathroom, the ubering of children. To serve. To minister. With the best of intentions and a heart of gold. But the years are slipping by. The routine, the repetition, it can lull. And unless you are aware of the devices of the enemy, your biggest “ministry” can distract you from what SHOULD be your biggest ministry. What if I told you… that your first ministry is not to your home? Not to your family? Not to your kids… and *gasp* not even to your husband?
What if I told you that your FIRST ministry… the very most important, must-come-first ministry…. is to your own heart? Kneading, tilling, working the soil in your own heart. Planting, growing God’s truth about who you are, what God has for you. Listening, hearing what He has to say. Reaping, love, joy, patience, peace.
The routine we develop… the just-getting-by at times, maybe killing-it other days routine can, over the years, become your monotony, your rocking. And without noticing, all your well-intentioned work at home becomes a rocking, soothing, unintentional, spiritual sleep. What happened to time with God? Meditation and communication with the Divine? Giving to your friends, family, children, the inspired Word of God? We can’t do that without a life-giving relationship with Him. And, well, you can’t nurture that once a week in a church service with 249 other people. Your relationship with God doesn’t automatically flourish because you are praying with your children at the end of the day or cooking meals for your hubby. Over time, we can become dulled to the revelations from God we once walked in and replace their presence with a justification for our actions – we are needed. By everyone.
And see – that’s the deception. That we are needed to do laundry before we are needed to receive and give revelation from God. We don’t consciously think it… no, but the day-in, day-out lulls us to spiritual sleep. Rocking, rocking, doing the day-to-day. Maybe even reading a Bible or a book – but not processing, receiving, coming alive. Your family needs you FULLY awake – and that cannot happen if you allow the routine to rock you to spiritual sleep. Mary chose what was better… sitting at Jesus’ feet… and Jesus said that wouldn’t be taken from her. Seek first the kingdom. Be on guard! Protect the portal through which your life and revelation comes (your heart.) I’ll say it in a different way - your family needs you FULLY ALIVE. So (spiritually speaking), wake up! Get up each morning with a plan to listen to the Holy Spirit THAT DAY. He knows what each season holds, and He will prepare you with a word in that season, a direction, a peace, a guidance for your job, for your ministry, for your family… yes, you can minister in all those places. (And you can get the laundry done, and the kitchen clean too, but more importantly, you will have wisdom and strength for today and those littles!) And… gasp(!) there may be other places for you to minister too if He leads you that way, but you won’t know unless you are taking time to minister to and connect with your own heart! MAKE, and TAKE the time to listen to Him. He will keep you awake. And that is the life we all want to live, and the life where we can truly minister to our family, friends, and wherever He leads us.
"But they delight in the law of the Lord , meditating on it day and night. They are like trees planted along the riverbank, bearing fruit each season. Their leaves never wither, and they prosper in all they do."
Psalms 1:2-3 NLT
Laura Kubilis